Gavin America

Paranoid Mario Paint

gavinamerica — Fri, 01 May 2009 02:45:27 +0000

The only good song by that one really overrated band gets the Mario Paint treatment. I, for one, am actually more impressed by this version than the original. Don’t hate, you know I’m right.

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Honda Insight – Let It Shine

gavinamerica — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 12:30:44 +0000

Video made me pee my pants

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Happy Easter

gavinamerica — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 20:18:03 +0000

She has a third nipple. Also, she is perfect

Shit shit shit, guys, I feel like it’s been forever since I blogged. I almost forgot I even had a blog to write. The fact is I have been working really hard on this pyramid scheme to get Lily Allen to marry me, and I’ve been too busy to write my usual insightful social commentaries. Hows it going in the Lily Allen front, you ask? Well some words like ‘restraining order’ and ’500 yards’ and ‘jail-time’ are being tossed around pretty willy nilly, but frankly I think if she would just come breath deeply into this handkerchief it would be easier to jump start this whole process. TBH, yall, I’m just an alt-electro-bro trying to find a sugar mama to eat Chinese food with, and spoon on the couch with while watching really bad reality T.V. maybe get a dog, name him something ironic that only other alt-bros will get. I’m a simple kinda bro, all I really need is my HDTV, my macbook, and some wifi. I’m not sure what direction I’m going in with this post, but I saw Lotus play at the Bowery Ballroom this weekend, and apparently I was the only one in the audience who wasn’t rolling on E. Which, in retrospect, may have been a small oversight on my part, because whats Lotus without hard drugs? You live and you learn, right? Here are the highlights of the show; 1) A man in a rather large Easter bunny costume came out on stage during the second set and launched candy and plastic eggs filled with candy into the audience. We made eye contact and I got me some chocolate. 2) After the show was over, on the street, in the middle of the LES there were roughly 100 kids huffing nitrous filled balloons off a tank. In the middle of the street. In New York. Extrapolate that shit… 3) The Mcdonalds dollar menu. Aaaaaand thats about it.

Its really only creepy when you dwell on it

As always, Smokey the Bear says “Stay hydrated.”

My heart just stopped

gavinamerica — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 04:12:00 +0000

I simultaneously managed to achieve an erection and have a small heart attack. I think I just vomited in my mouth a little bit, but in a good way…

Bacon Wrapped Twinkie Stonehenge

Turtle V Pigeon

gavinamerica — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 04:08:14 +0000

A buddy of mine turned me onto this video yesterday, and it may be the single greatest moment in the history of the internet. This is pretty self explanatory, and you can probably tell whats going to happen even before you watch it, but if you do one positive thing today, make it clicking play on this shit.

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Rodney Mullen

gavinamerica — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 10:13:40 +0000

I just got back from Texas, chillin with the pops and what not, and apparently, cold weather follows me wherever I go. When I got there it was roughly 40 degrees outside, and during my stay it was never warmer than 60 which is really unfortunate because if the weather had been a bit more accommodating I would have tots wrangled some cattle and maybe raised a barn or two or whatever it is you do when you’re in Dallas. And to be perfectly honest, the city is nothing like the T.V. show except for the fact that there are tons of hot skinny ass milfs running around in cowboy boots. A lot of fake boobs too. I dunno how this segues into a Rodney Mullen video, but he and milfs are two of my favorite things, so with that loose connection and without further ado, check out this awesome Rodney Mullen video.

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Bad Habit and Dirty Digital live and in color

gavinamerica — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 05:47:42 +0000

The second artist signed to Cartel Stamp records (thats totally the name of my LLC) is Bad Habit, who is gearing up for a performance this weekend at Bates College with Chitown collective Dirty Digital opening, and local Chicago MC Qwazaar hyping the crowd. I wish I could attend, but Maine is cold, methy, and I’m on my way to Texas to bask in the sunlight and mix it up with the Hickson clan. Hopefully Chesley ‘Sully’ Sullenberger will be piloting my plane, otherwise I’m kinda nervous to fly given the insane rate at which planes seem to be falling out of the sky in recent weeks. I understand that statistically flying is the safest form of transportation, but I’m one step away from John Madden style flight paranoia. Ah well. Have a look at some of the sick artwork for the show, and when you’re done you can shoot over to Bad Habits fbook page to have a taste of what he’s cooking. You can also check out some of what Dirty Digital has to offer here. If you can weather the cold, and also the methy townies, sidle down to Bates and lick it.

Where you runnin to Joe?

gavinamerica — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 02:08:51 +0000

Post Boys Noize shenanigans while waiting for the L train back to the Brooksteez. I believe we frightened the majority of the other straphangers over to the opposite end of the platform. ‘smatter, you can’t handle those sexy dance moves?

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Couchfire burns down Boucarou Lounge

gavinamerica — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 05:05:16 +0000

Couchfire blew up your aural fantasy life with his ridiculous knowledge of electro/house/space-dsico/post-disco-electro-funk* didn’t he? You thought you were cool ’cause you dl’d previously unreleased cutcopy remixes off hypemachine along with every other electro-bro shoegazing in his limited addition onitsuka tigers while ironically ordering old fashions at his local underground hipster dive bar. Not so much. I don’t manage just any chump off the street with an itunes library full of recycled Steve Aoki edits. It’s a shame you missed his opening set at Boucarou this weekend, and even more tragic that you missed his closing set which actually caused several seizures, and a small fire in the VIP section. I’m pretty sure their insurance premiums are gonna be through the roof after this weekend (couchfire isn’t just a name, its a warning label.)

he didn't do it on purpose...

Wish we recorded the set, but when your buddy hooks you up with 65$ bottles at a club shit gets real hazy real quick and you sorta lose track of priorities, and all your potential promo stills end up being blurry shots of your DJ’s baldspot.

Enjoy this AA247 megamix instead.

*I made the last category up so good luck entering that search criteria on hypem.

Boys Noize and the scarf incident

gavinamerica — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 21:23:21 +0000

attack of the unibros

I’m feeling pretty ambitious right now, so I’m going to see if I can entertain you with a little rhyme steez at the beginning of this post. You can work out the tempo and bpm’s in your head. Boys Noize at web hall last night was the tits. Daiquiris were wild, shout out to fitz. Pregamed with flipcup my skills, stuff of legend. Went to a williamsburg diner and got into a fight. A guy questioned my blackness, I called him a fag and told him his scarf was the wackness. My mouth tastes like rum and bacon, my kidneys are aching. K I’m done, the ambition faded and my hangover is still raging. I just got off the phone with my gastroenterologist, who seemed pretty annoyed that I was calling him on the weekend. As if he has more important shit to take care of right? I asked him about a diagnosis he gave me about a year ago for some stomach pain I was having, because I’m having similar pain right now, and I couldn’t remember what the problem was before. So he is all like “…and you expect me to remember this off the top of my head?” And I’m like “I figured you might have a better chance of remembering than I did, and if not you might have access to the paper work if its filed electronically.” He’s all like “no, thats all in my office and I’m not going to be in until Monday.” No shit doc… I don’t pay 400$ a month for health insurance for my gastroenterologist to give me attitude on the phone. The next time he wants to put on a latex glove, lube up a couple fingers and shove em up my ass I’m gonna turn to him and say “you’re a stomach doctor so lets not get cute you pervert.” Prostate exam my dick, he’s just tryna get the milk for free if you catch my drift. If you wanna know the details of the Boys Noize show, or if you just wanna get that image out of your head, peep my boy couchfizzles blog; he totally knows what he’s talking about (he takes notes during shows).

P.S. if faggy scarf dude is reading this, that was a dick move you pulled crying to that cop outside the diner about how I pushed you in your concave chest. He came in and asked me what went down, I told him you were drunk obnoxious and aggressive, he rolled his eyes and went back to his squad car -prolly ’cause you woke him from a sweet as nap at 5am- dickbag.